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Tips to Connect with your Partner

5 Tips for Connecting with your Partner during the Holidays

This post, "5 Tips for Connecting with your Partner During the Holidays" was a submission by Camille Faunda - Couples Counselor and Licensed Clinical Social Worker. See below for information on how to get scheduled with her for couples or individual work. 

5 Tips for Connecting with your Partner during the Holidays

The holiday season can be a time of the year that many look forward to being with loved ones, sharing traditions and enjoying the many festivities. How many of us get to New Years and wonder where did December even go? Dreaming of the lights on the house and the quiet nights by the fire with hot chocolate can quickly spiral into arguments between loved ones if not careful. My hope is that we take a moment to put some practices in place to cherish the holiday season, deepen emotional intimacy within relationships, and share the holiday joy. Here are my 5 tips on how to connect with your partner during the holiday season:

Slow Down! Slowing down seems to be a foreign concept in today's time of fast paced social media, dazzling outfits, and big events. How about scheduling nothing on your calendar? Can you feel the FOMO (fear of missing out) rising up in you? Are you able to say no to the 3rd holiday party on the same weekend as two others? Try this, carve out time during the holiday season to just sit. Enjoy the decorated trees, holiday lights, and dedicate a whole Saturday to make cookies. Creativity and imagination happen when time is made free from distractions.

Communicate Expectations. Each partner in the relationship brings forward past traditions, ways of celebrations, and different energy capacities. Maybe one of you can attend activities during the work nights, but the other is drained from social gatherings after work. Communicating expectations to one another is critical to avoid setting your partner up for "failure" from your perspective leading to an argument. Communicate to your partner the importance of their presence at your work's holiday party, so that they understand your value in sharing the event together. If having the house decorated the weekend of Thanksgiving is how your family has done it for years, then simply share that hope and expectation with your partner. Trust me, you will avoid many unnecessary tiffs and deepen your connection through the holiday season if you practice communicating expectations. 

Avoid Comparison! Comparison truly is the thief of joy, and joy is the shining light during this season. Keep your eyes on your own paper, says every teacher, or how about keep your eyes within your own family. Do not focus on what other parents choose to give their children or the Disney trips families choose to take over the holiday season. Turn your eyes inward and give thanks for what gifts you choose to give and receive, and appreciate the relationships you have in your life. Not everyone is as happy as they appear at Disney. So before you assume another family has it better than you, try to keep your eyes focused inward when it comes to comparison. Don't let it steal your holiday joy!

Be intentional with your partner and loved ones. During the hustle and bustle of the season, if you aren't applying Suggestion 1, make sure to set time aside daily to have a check in with your partner. Ask them about favorite holiday memories and traditions. Share with one another future traditions you would like to start with each other. How about this one, put your phones away! Remove the distraction of your phone and sit on the same side of the couch, maybe even hold hands. Suggest going for a walk or waking up ten minutes earlier to share a cup of coffee together before the work day. Being intentional with your partner is a key to deepen emotional intimacy in your relationship not just during the holiday season, but throughout the years.

Allow for creativity. Maybe the budget is tight this year, and you feel anxious about getting your partner the newest Apple product. Try creating a gift for your partner, maybe a relationship coupon book or writing down 100 reasons why you love them. Rather than buy all of your holiday decorations at the home store, maybe you create and make holiday decorations together. Go and enjoy your neighbor's holiday lights versus spending hundreds to decorate your own house. Take the stress off the bank account, and be creative in the ways you give, share, and connect with one another during this holiday season.

Remember, these are only suggestions. There are many ways to deepen your emotional intimacy and connection with your loved ones. My hope for you during this holiday season is to take time and think about why you love your person, and appreciate the special gift that they are in your life.  Reflect upon how best to express that love and thankfulness to them in ways they will appreciate and admire. Life is not easy by any means, but the holidays have a magical way of helping couples remember the roots of their love.

 

Camille Faunda, Therapist, Couples Counselor

Camille Faunda is a Couples Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of Florida. She has been a Therapist for over 7 years and has experience in working with relationships, grief, adjusting to illness, adjusting to life changes, anxiety, and depression. Camille offers virtual sessions for those living in the state of Florida. To schedule an appointment to work with Camille for individual or couples work, you can click here to schedule online, email her at camille@floatoncounseling.com, or call 813-515-9602.  

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