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15 Surefire ways to stay nice and Depressed

If you’re looking for some Surefire ways to stay depressed or to increase symptoms of depression, you’ve come to the right place!  Below are 15 ways to make sure you stay stuck in a low-feeling rut.  

  1. Avoid exercise at all costs! Because exercise can naturally increase your sense of well-being and improve self-esteem, you’ll want to make sure you avoid physical activity.  
  2. Keep yourself isolated! Spend as much time alone as possible.  Avoid social situations and engagement with people that lift you up.  
  3. Don’t even consider therapy! There’s a risk that if you start therapy that you might learn about your depression, underlying reasons for depression, and effective ways to cope better with depression.  Because of this, therapy is a big NO-NO, if you’re aiming to stay depressed.  
  4. Stay in a job that you hate! Toxic, stressful, and unfulfilling careers are great for helping you stay really stuck and unhappy! 
  5. Believe that mean inner voice! Listen to that voice that tells you how big of a failure you are.  Make sure to beat yourself up as much as possible and avoid extending yourself the same kind of compassion that you do to other people in your life. Oooh! – and remind yourself that even though human suffering is universal, that your reasons for feeling sad are not good enough and that your situation isn’t bad enough to feel depressed.  Feel really guilty about that.  
  6. Stay OUT of the present moment!  Make sure to spend lots of time ruminating on the past.  Think about all of your regrets and things you wish had turned out differently.  Since you can’t ever change the past, you’ll find yourself stuck in some really powerful and futile thinking patterns.  It also helps to worry lots about all of the horrible things that could happen to you or people that you love.  Being engaged in and enjoying the present moment only removes you from the past and future – and we don’t want that, now do we?
  7. Stay indoors and out of the sun! Fresh air and sunlight are like kryptonite to depression, so staying cooped up indoors as much as possible is a must!
  8. Avoid dealing with any of your problems! This one should be a piece-of-cake, since addressing problems and conflict in life is way harder than just suppressing your problems and pretending like they don’t exist.  Things only get worse when you fail to deal with them, so this is a really simple thing you can do to everyday to ensure things don’t get any better. 
  9. Eat like crap! Eating unhealthy foods in excess can go a long way towards feeling like crap and increasing chances of health-related problems that will keep you in and out of the doctor’s office.  
  10. Surround yourself with plenty of negativity! This one goes without saying.  Stay in unhealthy relationships and surround yourself with people who make you feel worse about yourself.  Watching the news and reading about all of the horrible things going on in this world will help to fuel your pessimistic mindset.  This is bad – and that’s good!
  11. Drink, eat, or use drugs to cope instead of considering medication management! Remind yourself that even though you already feel horrible, that meds might “make you feel like a zombie” or something.  Instead, self medicate with really unhealthy “natural” alternatives. Drink lots of alcohol, eat lots of food, and consider using drugs.  Don’t worry if you feel better temporarily while eating, drinking, or using. Rest assured that it won’t last and that you’ll feel worse in the long-run.   
  12. Scrap goals! Since goal-setting can give you a sense of direction, control, and purpose, you’ll want to make sure to avoid making a plan or working towards any kinds of positive changes.  
  13. Forget about enjoyable activities! Don’t consider finding new hobbies or doing things you used to like to do.  Those kinds of things only bring unwanted pleasure.  
  14. Sleep too much or not enough!  If sleeping comes easily, stay in bed as long as possible.  An alternative to sleeping too much is to make sure your routine lacks balance and makes sleep a very low priority.  
  15. Avoid trying new things!  Getting involved in your community, trying new things, and meeting new people might only increase your well-being – but since you’ll probably only fail or be rejected anyway, it’s much safer to do nothing at all than to do new things that just might lead to a greater sense of joy and fulfillment in your life.  

Warning: Doing the opposite of all of the items listed, might lead to the opposite of the desired result of worsened depression.  

In all seriousness, depression is hard!  It can be difficult to make healthy changes, when your motivation is so low to get moving that you feel paralyzed and hopeless.  Knowing the things you should start doing does not always translate to easily being able to take action, and that’s understandable.  Focusing on taking the first positive step towards feeling better can be a realistic goal that might help spark some positive changes.  If you’re not sure where to start, a Therapist can help you get the ball rolling and create a plan for how to effectively deal with and treat Depression.

If you’re considering starting counseling, you can send us a message or call/text 727-258-5231.  

Float on Counseling, LLC is located in the Carrollwood area of Tampa on North Dale Mabry Hwy.

Joel Schmidt, MA, LMHC

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